They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
