I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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