1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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