Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
