i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
