dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
