I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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