Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
