she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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