i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize