so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
