We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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