that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
