Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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