This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
