you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize