i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
