Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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