I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
