This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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