i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
