Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
