What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
