I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize