if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
