i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
