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I want to make a zoo with you.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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