Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize