please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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