I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
