Sry I called you an 8
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
