You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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