So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
