I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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