I'm sorry my penis didn't work
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
