Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
