Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
