Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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