What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I came so hard my ears popped.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
