I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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