i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize