Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
