No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize