jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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