College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
