I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
