Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize