Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
