When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
