I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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