The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
