My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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