I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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