I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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