sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
