did you get engaged???
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize