Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
