Pappa wants mamma naked
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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