'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
