He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
