Need sex. Gaining weight.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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