Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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