508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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